


A knife!

by Mandarinorangeboy



Category: 1TEAM (Band)
Genre: Crack, How Do I Tag, I wrote this all right after listening to the Cell Block Tango and it shows, M/M, Not Serious, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:22:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23620765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandarinorangeboy/pseuds/Mandarinorangeboy
Summary: BC has a knife. And Rubin just might run into that knife. He might even run into that knife ten times.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	A knife!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Donghunz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donghunz/gifts).



> I promise this is a joke. College AU because for some reason those are my favorite right now. I wrote this right after I made my roommate listen to the Cell Block Tango because she had never heard it before. I regret everything. I nearly threw myself off of the couch while writing this.
> 
> Shout out to K for the beta that this fic doesn't seem like it had lmao

Bryan checked his watch. Rubin had been in the shower of their small off campus apartment for nearly thirty minutes and was, once again, using all of the hot water. 

Annoyed he walked over to his bag, figuring he might as well start on the assignment for his music theory and composition class while waiting for his bitchass roommate to free up the shower. He then brought his homework over to the table in front of the small lumpy couch that filled the shared space. 

Reaching in blindly, he pulled out his notebook while he booted up his laptop, which was on its last legs if he was being honest with himself. Feeling in his bag for a pencil, his hand wrapped around an object that was definitely not the shape of a pencil - at least not any pencil Bryan had ever owned. He pulled out said object to find it was a plastic toy knife, like you'd find in a children's toy cooking set. 

He recognized it as belonging to his nephew, Junghoon. He must have put it in his bag the last time he visited his sister most likely thinking that when Bryan found it he would have to come visit again to return it. Junghoon was always begging Bryan to visit more. He set the knife down on the table, put in his ear buds, and tried to settle into his homework while bopping to the soundtrack to Chicago.

Finally, after what felt like three decades Rubin exited the bathroom.

"Hey dickweed!" Bryan yelled across the few feet that separated them. "Stop using all the hot water or I'm gonna stab you!"

Rubin scoffed in complete offense. "Stop being a little bitch baby and make me some mozzarella sticks! Also take a shower, you nasty."

"Make your own mozzarella sticks, you fucking spaghetti strap! And I can't take a shower now because you used up all the hot water! God you're such a dick!"

"I have a very special skin care routine! It's not easy to be this ridiculously good looking! Sure most of it is natural, but that doesn't mean I should tempt fate! What if I got a pimple? It would be an absolute tragedy!"

Bryan picked up the knife and muttered to himself. "He ran into my knife…"

His eyes flicked up to bore into the man across from him. "He ran into my knife...Ten! Times!"

Screaming the lyrics to the Cell Block Tango at the top of his lungs, Bryan charged at Rubin, toy knife held in the most threatening way one could hold such a completely unthreatening object. 

"He had it coming! He had it coming! He only had himself to blame!"

"Dude!" Rubin, eyes wide, dove out of the way of the sudden attack. "Don't damage the goods!"

His attacker stumbled into the wall and into the floor. 

"Ew! I'm not going to touch your dick, you dick!"

Bryan pulled himself up and lunged.

"Excuse me! All of me are the goods!"

Bryan drew back his arm and threw the children’s toy, hitting Rubin in the booty as he scrambled away.

"Owwie!" 

Bryan stopped short. 

"Oh shit dude. Are you okay?" 

Rubin flopped on the floor shoving his ass in the air and holding his hand over the injury. 

"Ow! Kiss it better!" 

Bryan couldn't help but stare and the sight in front of him as he walked over to his fallen friend. He bent down as Rubin continued to whimper and swish his hips and whispered in his ear, "Stop being weird. And stop using up all of the hot water." 

"Aww you're no fun." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just stop being a doo doo head and let me shower and work on my assignments in peace."

"Oh phooey. Are you still mad at me?"

"Yes. Now I'm going to go back to working on my assignment until the water has heated up again." 

Bryan righted himself and returned to the couch with a sigh. Why couldn't he have a normal roommate? Or at least one that wouldn't use up all the hot water every night and just be an all around pain in the ass.


End file.
